Page 78 - November 2020

78
Litterateur
November 2020

Emilia

Grossmann You can't possibly think that you're going to bury me in my school
graduation suit, which the moths have been living on for years and years.
Emilia Of course I think so. You can't possibly think that I'm going to have

a new one made for you. Especially for a special occasion like a funeral. Made to
measure, so you'll feel comfortable, is that it?
Grossmann To measure? I don't say that…
Emilia And what do you say?
Grossmann I say, it needn't be to measure. It can be narrow in the shoulders.
Emilia Look here…
Grossmann I'm looking.
Emilia Look here, dear!
Grossmann I'm looking, dear.
Emilia And what can you see?
Grossmann The same as usual.
Emilia Look, dear. Have you any idea how much trouble one ordinary
funeral involves? You just can't imagine. To say nothing of the funeral of a retired

governor of a bank!
Grossmann The fact that I'm retired is what's troubling me now.
Emilia Then have a bit of consideration for me, too. There simply won't be
time for anything not absolutely essential, such as getting a new suit for the
deceased.
Grossmann But why a new suit? Who said anything about a new suit? I've got
a whole pile of decent black suits which haven't yet had time to live to a venerable
age.
Emilia Surely you don't want to be buried in an undignified manner in a
suit which has not yet had time to live, or at least wait, until it's a venerable age? I
shall bury you in that commemorative and truly historical garment, reminiscent of
your eternal youth and undying education.
Grossmann Out of the question.
Emilia You're mistaken, dear. I shall bury you in that school graduation
suit. That will be right and proper - and economical. No one understands questions
of economy better than you do.
Grossmann That's true, but it's not possible to save on everything and under
every circumstance. There are times in life when magnanimity is called for, when

economic interests do not have priority.
Emilia Am I hearing right? If I hadn't known you so well for so many
years, I'd probably believe you. But I know those are only magic words which open
the public purse.
Grossmann That's not fair. That really hurts.
Emilia Can you explain to me why we have looked after your ceremonial
school graduation suit all these years? Why you have denied yourself all kinds of
pleasures all your life, just so as to keep your slim figure?